Subject: Canadian military slang

Hopefully this will help you all understand some of us FOGs from up North a bit easier. FOG is F*#king Old Guys. A term used by younger soldiers to denote older soldiers or veterans, the young guys in turn are referred to as "FNGs", which is some what similar to the other definitions.

The following is a list of colloquial terms and expressions used in the Canadian Forces.

5 by 5- Loud and clear, everything is working 100% (I've never heard this one???)
Aldershit—a term used to describe LFAATC Camp Aldershot, where whenever there is training, the weather takes a nosedive. AKA Alderschwitz
Air Force Gloves- pockets; "I see you're wearing your Air Force gloves today."
Armoners- Weapons techs
Around when Centurion was a rank not a Tank - old NCO
bag drive—an extensive, excessive activity marked by great levels of physical and mental strain.
bag of hammers—see bag of shit.
bag of shit—someone or something that is or appears to be sloppy, clumsy, incompetent, useless, et cetera.
balls to nutsack—members grouped uncomfortably close together.
band fag - CF musician
band geek—musician
bandie, bandy—musician
base bunny—in reference to buckle bunny, a a bull-rider's girlfriend, who wears his trophy buckle out of pride for her man. A base bunny likes to show off that she has a military man.
battalion bicycle—see shack rat
beers down range—to drink socially.
bin rat—supply technician.
birth control glasses—Canadian Forces-issued combat spectacles that, while appropriate for eye protection in a tactical situation, are downright hideous.
black hatter—Armoured crewman. Named after the black berets worn by the Royal Canadian Armoured Corps. Does not apply to Navy personnel although they too wear a black beret.
black cadillacs—Combat boots. Used ironically in reference to use as a mode of transport.
blade—traitor, backstabber. See buddy fucker.
blanket stacker—supply technician.
blue rocket—standard portable toilet that can be found everywhere on a base. Has a rather nasty habit of tipping over when occupied and people are bored.
BOHICA—bend over, here it comes again. A term used when complaining of monotonous and pointless activities
boonie cap—CADPAT floppy field hat worn in field environment.
boot camp—basic training. For soldiers, this can also include the Soldier's Qualifications Course.
boot fucked - Severe punishement, Sometimes the real boot up your ass, usually comming from a SGT or above.(Not legaly used after 1994 harrassement policy.)
box kicker—supply technician.
buddy fucker—describes someone who, whether intentionally or not, acts in a manner totally inconsiderate to the welfare of his/her peers, potentially harming them in the process.
bumblefuck—engage in activity with no purpose or end benefit.
bunny suit—chemical defence suit, used for defence against chemical warfare.
brat—Military Brat—someone who has spent their youth being raised by a regular-force member, almost always having lived on numerous bases and major cities across the country (if not abroad).
Canary - Airforce. - too pretty to shoot, too yellow to fight.
Canteen Queen- Someone who always voluteers for the canteen.
Career Mangler - Career Manager. A senior member of your occupation at NDHQ who makes the decisions about your career development and your geographical and/or unit postings. Depending on his/her decisions, they are thought of as a great friend or your worst nightmare.
Chairforce—Air Force.
charlie foxtrot - the phonetic letters CF, abbreviation of cluster fuck.
chemist- the cook who conducts chemical experiments with food
Chicken Fuckers—a most offensive nickname given to The Royal Canadian Regiment.
chief - the senior-most officer appointment of a branch, staffing, element, etc. (Chief of Staff, Chief of Land Staff); can also informally refer to a particular chief warrant officer or chief petty officer. It is also the correct form of address for chief petty officers class 1 and 2.
Chicken Ranch—CFB Petawawa, home of 1RCR and 3RCR. See also chicken fucker. This one is actually incorrect, the "Ranch" is the RCR Battle School at CFB Meaford where young RCRs, or "Nuggets" are trained(a dirivitive of "Chicken McNuggets"). Petawawa is also occupied by other units so the entire base cannot be tag with the title "the Ranch" even though the RCR is the largest group there. Therefore, only the buildings that the RCR occupy there have been given an alternate designation ofther then their numeric indicator, they are "the Coops"
chimo! - a form of greeting or war-cry used by the Canadian Military Engineers. Can mean the following: "Hello!", "Cheers" et cetera. It is normally shouted in unison after engineers are dismissed from parade, or as a compliment in place of "good job" or "have a good night!"
Chuggernuts - Used as a nickname for stupid soldiers (eg. "Take a look at chuggernuts there" or "Going to find chuggernuts, be right back")
Cinderella leave-Shipboard leave expiring at, or before, 2359hrs. Usually for only for junior members of the Ship's Company or if the ship is sailing early.
circus battalion - a service battalion, coined by not just how it rhymes, but also the nature of certain service battalion as being severely disorganized: "they set up tents, and are staffed by clowns".
civvies—civilian attire; civilians.
closed up—someone who is competent, alert and deports oneself in a professional manner. Essentially, someone who embodies the necessary traits of a good member or officer. The opposite of shit pump.
COCK—confirmation of combat knowledge. Can mean to put a round into the chamber of a gun. such as "cocked and loaded" Also, heavy-handed discipline. It is known to be "BELT FED COCK" for extreme circumstances. Also, a form of disapline given for reason or not. Can also be given anytime, see cockmeat sandwitch and double cock.
Cockmeat Sandwich - A form of disapline recieved from more than one superior at more than one ocasion for the same incident.
cornflake—a tri-service cap badge affixed to a new CF member's beret in his or her early recruit stages, prior to wearing the badge of a given branch or regiment, or regimental headdress. It displays the crossed swords (Land), bird (Air), and anchor (Sea). Its shape and colour resembles a piece of corn flakes cereal, hence its name. Recruits wear the cornflake until they have reached a certain level of qualification, and its application differs from one branch or regiment to another—some replace it once finished their trades qualification, others replace it as soon as their basic training is finished. "Cornflake" also serves as a term for a member in this early stage of his or her career.
cornflake treatment—the cornflake is normally a sign that the member is new to the Canadian Forces and is given according treatment: superiors will supervise them with more scrutiny, to note and correct their mistakes, discipline when necessary and behave as an example to follow, et cetera.
Corporal Bloggins, Private Bloggins—the CF's Everyman.
Cowering Inferno]]- NDHQ
CFL—corporal for life; someone at that rank that either lacks the potential to be promoted higher OR has no desire to pursue the promotion and intends to keep it that way. Also captain for life.
Crocker cocker—A derogatory term used for the poorly designed ambidextrous cocking handle latch on the upgraded C7A2 rifle which has the bad habit of getting caught on everything and breaks frequently. Named after the rumoured developer of the latch.
crunchie—an armoured term; dismounted infantry. Derived from what it is imagined to sound like when a tank runs over an infantry soldier.
death before dismount—unofficial Armoured Corps motto, usually used my non-Armoured types (i.e. crunchies) as humour.
death by Powerpoint—an overly long, excruciatingly boring class or presentation that makes overuse of said program.
deck ape—boatswain.
dirty cowboy—A member of the Princess Patricia Canadian Light Infantry.
dogfuck—engage in severe laziness, or severe procrastination. Synonymous with "Dog Humping a Football".
donkey—a foolish individual.
Double Cock - Getting twice the amout of disapline. Or receiving disapline from two people at the same time.
Disneyland joke—a recurring joke often used by instructors on students during a recruit course, in order to gain volunteers for a mundane task. This can also involve ice cream or candy.
Disneyland on the Rideau—National Defence Headquarters in Ottawa
Dozer- Aviation Technician
drip pan—a female soldier in a service battalion who engages in promiscuity. Coined from the literal definition: a pan laid underneath vehicles as a means of collecting dripping fluids. Its association with the Service Battalion stems from the large company of vehicle repairmen and drivers present in any service battalion or similar area support unit.
drop ass—to expel intestinal gas through the anus; break wind.
fart sack—sleeping Bag.
FIGMO-fuck it, got my orders, generally refers to someone who is posted and has received their posting message and their lack of interest in their current position. Would hear someone who is posted say they are "Figmoed" means they are done.
fill your boots—take as much as you want. Help your self.
'Fitter & Turner- a cook as he fits perfectly good food into pots and turns it into shit.
'Fitter- A CF-18 Engine Tech.
FNG—fucking new guy.
FOBIT- A soldier who never leaves a forward operating base (FOB). See also KAFer.
FOBIJAR - Fuck Off Buddy I'm Just A Reservist. Might be heard from a reservist if given an undesirable task by a regular force member.
foot in your ass—severe discipline. "If one of you isn't pulling your weight here, you will feel the shock of my foot in your ass!!!"
fragiles- avionics techs (pronounced like fraggle)
fuck o—an incompetent, obnoxious, bumbling oaf. Like a bag of shit but even worse. Perhaps a play on common officer titles such as 'Admin O' or 'Sup O'
fuck off—an auxiliary superlative. "Reference that big fuck-off tree at 2 o'clock."
funnel faggot-any member of the Marine Engineering Branch.
GAF—Give a fuck level/factor, i.e. 'My GAF is pretty low right now'
gaggle fuck—a disorganized mass of people who aren't doing anything productive.
Gagtown – a term used to refer to CFB Gagetown
get on the dog, get the dog on—to put one's best effort forward. Derived the naval term "Dog" which is what sailors use to control the sail of a ship.
Glue Bag- A person who is a moron.
gravel technician—infantry soldier. Created on grounds that the Infantry spend much time digging.
ground pounder-infantry soldier
green light—Paratrooper. Taken from the 'Go'/'No Go' lights when jumping.
green pyjamas-collectice term given to the former olive green combat dress.
ground sheet—a female soldier who engages in promiscuity. Taken from its literal form of noun—a padded mat that soldiers sleep on top of. Normally said in combat trades. See also Drip Pan.
grunt-a large Bournian ground dwelling ape that digs holes for no apparent reason(PONGO) —infantry soldier. Also: Government Reject Unfit Naval Training
gucci kit-non issued kit or equipment bought by the soldier.
gunner—a trained private in the Royal Canadian Artillery, although the term can informally refer to an artillery soldier at any rank: "once a gunner, always a gunner." This term has also been used as a call sign for the machine gunner in a formation of members who bear rifles.
gun plumber—weapons technician, responsible for repairing firearms.
Guppy-Navy
ham fisted- Something that is so unbelievablly tight that the person who installed it has hams for fists.
haybox—a large insulated container used for serving and storing food in field operations.
Herman the German—figure printed on figure 11 targets at a rifle range.
horse cock—a flexible spout used for pouring fuel from a jerry can to a vehicle.
hooah!, HUA!—heard, understood, acknowledged, borrowed from the U.S. Army term or the USMC's "OOO-RAH!]]Used in a ironic manner, for a idiotic task that you have no enthusiasm in doing.
hump—carry or lift a load, originally an Australian term meaning "to carry one's swag,"; also a forced march carrying full equipment loads.
hurry up and wait—denotes a situation where something isn't well organized, is rushed into by personnel and some form of delay makes them all wait in the end.
I must puke—Individual Meal Pack (IMP), referring to a dislike for the pre-packaged food.
infantard—Infantry Solider. Based on the belief that most infantry soldiers are not quite as bright as their peers.
infantillery—Artillery Solider employed in an infantry role; artillerymen performing infantry-like tasks.
iron fist—hat badge of the Armoured Corps.
jacked up—to have one's faults corrected in a swift and severe manner.
jammie- everything is good to go
Jesus ______—an item that is of monumental, singular importance. For example, if a particular computer in an office should not fail or be tampered with whatsoever, it is the "Jesus Computer".
Jimmy—a member of the Signals branch.The Executive officer of Naval ships- from RN "Jimmy the One."
JOUT-Junior Officer Under Training.
jug fuck—a disaster in the making.
KAFer- A soldier who never leaves the Kandahar Airfield while deployed in Afghanistan. See also FOBIT.
knuckle dragger- Armourer, weapons tech
lawn dart—Paratrooper.
LCF-Look Cool Factor. Used in refrence to the look of a piece of equipment and its affect on fashion
light colonel—lieutenant-colonel. Used referentially, never when addressing the officer.
light up- Shooting an enemy, for example, "enemy to the front: light him up!".
line ape—a member of the Lineman trade, in army signals.
log, log wog—a member of the Logistics branch. See Ren & Stimpy's 'Log Song' for more details.
lone bone—a Private bearing one chevron.
lung in a bag—I.M.P. (field ration) meal of omelette in mushroom sauce, referring to its appearance.
ma'am—see "Sir".
metal bashers- Aircraft Structures Technician.
master jack—Master Corporal.
Mayor of Tune Town-Band Officer
meatbomb—Paratrooper
meathead—a member of the Canadian Forces Military Police. Likely a reference to the scarlet beret that an MP wears, though it has said to have been used prior to the scarlet's wearing. May also refer to the contents of the beret.
morale booster—a female soldier who engages in promiscuity with multiple members of her unit
MIR Commando- A member of your unit who goes to the MIR (medical inspection room) frequently attempting to get out of work
MRE- abbreviation for Meal Ready to Eat (a soldier's food in the field) aka Meal rejected by Ethiopians
Mudford—term of 'endearment' for LFCATA Meaford. Said to be where 'happieness goes to die.'
Navy gravy]- ketchup
no hook—a Private below his or her qualification course specific to trade, who does not have a chevron or "hook" on his or her epaulet (or on any other means of display), unlike Trained Privates who do. Can also apply to an Ordinary Seaman, which is the naval equivalent to a no-hook.
not on—used to describe something that is unacceptable, or something that shouldn't happen—"that is NOT ON."
ninjas—the special-forces arm of the CF.
N/S—non-serviceable, non-functioning, broken, official jargon.
numpty—someone who is 'none too swift', see 'bag of shit'.
other ranks—an older term for Non Commissioned Members of the Forces used by officers; it is considered very inappropriate today.
one hook—a Trained Private, whose hook signifies competency in his or her trade. Also denotes an Able Seaman in the Navy.
paperclips—refers to the crossed chain links on the badge of the Canadian Forces Logistics Branch, which to the untrained eye appear to be paperclips. This refers to the administrative and paperwork-heavy nature of many of that branch's trades. Can be either joking or derogatory, depending on context.
pecker checker—medic.
pencil-pusher—admin clerk
Picklies—short slang for a member of the PPCLI.
piddley shit—that which does not matter.
Pigboat - Named given to the former Gate Vessels of the Naval Reserves. All 5 were decommissioned in the mid 1990s. Originally used to open harbour gates during WWII. It was said they were made of "Pig steel"
Ping Pong Champions of Long Island—Princess Patricia's Canadian Light Infantry.
Please Protect Canada's little Idots—Princess Patricia's Canadian Light Infantry.
plug—a very stupid or incompetent person. From the fuze plug/lifting eye that is screwed into the front of an artillery shell until the actual fuze is installed. See also "Shit Pump"
PONTI—person of no tactical importance. See OCDT.
Princess Picklies—long slang for a member of the PPCLI.
Puzzle Palace—slang for National Defence Headquarters in Ottawa.
Rack Out - Go to sleep, or take a nap/ lie down. see rock out with your cock out
recce by death—unofficial motto of armoured reconnaissance. Refers to the chance of survival of an unarmed, unarmoured Iltis, or G-Wagon, upon encountering the enemy (e.g. If junior call sign does not report back after taking a bound over that crest and smoke is rising, you know there are bad guys over there"). Jocular parallel formation to the professional term reconnaissance by fire (abbr. recce by fire) = U.S. speculative fire, spec fire.
regimental air mattress—see 'Ground Sheet'.
rental—reservist.
Reserve Cock - Normally disapline comming from a Sgt thinking that everything has to be stressed out. Or a tasking done to kill time that shouldnt really be done. Denoted this because in the regular force, most senior NCOs are relaxed, and dont need soldiers to do meaningless tasks. This is probably due to experiance. Can also refer to the hard time reservists get when working with reg force soldiers. Even though they work less often, they tend to work harder and better than their reular force counterparts.
ring knocker—one who has attended RMC.
Rock Out With your Cock out - Just finnished a job, or dutie, and now having nothing to do. You can relax and relax. see rack out, and smoke and joke
Quarter-inch Admiral—a derogatory term for a CF Officer Cadet, whether Army, Navy or Air Force; refers to the thin gold rank braid worn by these members on their tunics. By comparison, a CF Admiral (or General) wears a wide gold rank braid on their tunic.
Queers on the Run—offensive nickname for The Queen's Own Rifles Regiment (QOR).
relish suit-collective term for the new CADPAT.
sapper—a trained private combat engineer, or informally a combat engineer of any rank.
sarge—Sergeant; used informally and with familiarity between the two people.
SAS-Reference Reserve members defined Saturdays and Summers.
Saturday Soldier—reservist.
Secret Squirrels—members of Communications Research.
sergeant major moustache—term used to describe a moustache styled with wax in a manner that resembles the Pringles logo character. It is normally worn by senior non-commissioned members, such as Sergeants, Warrant Officers, hence its name. They are most popular in combat arms regiments.
shacks—quarters of any time, not a reference to quality/comfort.
shack hack—any illness that has spread quickly in quarters.
shack rat— a sericeman who is left in barracks to do extra clean-up for the day. a female in quarters who engages in promiscuity with others living in the same housing unit.
shack whore—a civvy female who comes to the shacks to engages in promiscuity with anyone who will give them a beer or a smoke.
SHADS - Summer Holidays After Dinner Sailors. Term used for Naval Reservists.
shit pump—an individual marked by gross incompetence or stupidity.
shit the bed—to fuck up something, make a gross mistake or otherwise disappointment.
shitter fitter-Naval Hull Technician
Siggies-signals
Silly Servant- civilians that work for DND
sir—someone who is addressed as 'Sir' (or 'Ma'am') by subordinates, (i.e., Master Warrant Officer and above). Usually a response by a Warrant Officer or below when called sir—"I am not a sir/ma'am; I work for a living."
Slack and Idle—personnel without motivation or grossly out of shape
SLJO—shitty little jobs officer.
SOL—shit out of luck.
spare dink—someone who, at the time being, really does not have a job to do.
spark chaser- avionics technician
spinner—someone who has a tendency to 'panic' when put under even the slightest stress and can't make a decision, i.e. 'they spin'.
split arse—female.
squishie—see crunchie
standards—"There is only ONE standard!" Problem is, everybody has one.
to step on one's own dink- to really screw up
super sailor—nickname for members of the Boatswain Naval trade, so called as they are more involved in seamanship than other Naval trades which are technically oriented.
Super Stoker-a member of the Marine Engineering Branch who attended the St. Lawrence College (or equivalent) Marine Engineering Programme. Entering the 2 year course as a recruit and exiting the course as a Master Seaman.
SWAT refers to the reserves. As in Some Weekends And Thursdays (Thursday evenings are typically used for training). - See also SAS, Toon, and Weekend Warrior.
switched on—See "closed up".
thudfuck-someone who is totally useless
thunderbox—refers to one of two things: 1) a makeshift toilet out of cardboard in a field setting, 2) portable toilet.
thunderchicken—refers to the thunderbird on the Canadian Forces Military Police badge.
Toon—refers to the reserves. As in Cartoons. Not real, and only seen on the weekends. See S.A.S.
Tuba Tech—a CF musician, regardless of the instrument they play.
Tune Tech - any CF Musician
Tune town- the band room or practice area
[[[Twenty Mile Sniper]]-Artillery Gunner
[[[Twin Tailed Plastic Fag Jet]]- A CF-18 Fighter Jet
un-fuck—to fix something or someone that's broken.
volun-told—A supposedly optional event, award, assignment, or activity in which a person (or persons) are required to attend either by persons-in-charge nominating them or their peers expecting them to be there. The individual often has no say in the matter, and non-attendance in frowned upon.
war pig—almost exclusively used in the Infantry, the term describes a very large, girthy and masculine female soldier.
weather machine—rumoured device installed at LFCATA Meaford which provides the base with abysmal weather while all surrounding communities enjoy beautiful sunshine.
weekend warrior—reservist.
whiskey tango foxtrot—the phonetic letter WTF; has the same meaning as the modern textspeak WTF - "What the ....?"
white elephant—see white whale.
white whale—large, white moving-company style wagon used to transport goods in a non-combat environment.
WOG, wog—without guts/without guns. Synonymous with "sissy", "pussy", etc. A derogatory term for someone who is not a member of the combat arms. Can also be interpreted as "Without Gun." Sometimes "Western Oriental Gentleman"
Yank proof—see 'American Proof'.
Yellow bedroom- CF Crewcab truck which has a black hood and referenced in the joke: "What's black and yellow and sleeps four?"
"You can't see me!" suit-See relish suit.
zipperhead—Armoured Crewman. From the old leather helmets used by early tankers. The pattern of stitching gave the appearance of a zipper running across the top of the head. Folk etymology: from the zippers on armoured-vehicle crew suits (re-purposed pilots' flight suits). Also from the supposed scars on a crewman's head that he received from smacking it on a part of an armoured vehicle while crawling through the hatches and small compartments.
zoomie—pilot or any members of the Air Operations branch.
Amphibious training - Army slang, particular to the summer, meaning to screw off early from work and head to the beach.
Block leave - A period of leave during which an entire unit or command is nowhere to be found. Usually happens in summer and at Xmas, but is forbidden to units or commands who work on a 365 basis (i.e. the Air Force).
Boat - ask any sailor, "it means submarine you idiot". If it sails above the water then it's a ship.
Boat person, dory plug or fish head - slang for sailor.
Cementhead - Infantier - as in need a chisel and mallet to penetrate the thick skull.
Cheesie - slang for SAR Tech, due to the bright Orange suits they wear.
Frozen Chosen - slang term for anyone having served a sentence at the end of the world, commonly known as CFS Alert. Particular to Air Force types.
Ground pounder - slang for a gunner.
Killuck - Naval slang for a Leading Seaman. Really means spare anchor.
Leg - term used by members of the Airborne to refer to non-jumpers. Means "lacks enough guts".
Sliders - Naval term meaning to screw off early. Particularly applicable to Fridays and before lunch.
Toque head - The effect encountered when it's too cold to take off your toque for fear of brain freeze (e.g. on winter Ex's). Symptoms include excessive build up of grease on scalp and extremely sensitive hair.
Thumperhead - slang for Field Engineer
Sick, Lame and Lazy - A group of soldiers who are medically exempt from participating in physical activity.
FML - term used when tasked with a job that is considered to be un good. Standing for F... My Life.
pig - term used for machine gun. Because of how much amo it goes through.
Full Time Retard - Member of the regular forces
YMCA - the navy
Jimmy Jesus - St Andrew holding the cross

Lest ye forget ......

this list can be found at - http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Appendix:Canadian_military_slang

Feel free to add any that are not on this list as a comment.....I am sure there are a few!

QW: War....an ugly thing...

"War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed anddegraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothingis worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he iswilling to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personalsafety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unlessmade and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself."

--John Stewart Mill--

(12) Step Program for those Retiring from the Military

1. Speech:
Time should never begin with a zero or end in a hundred, it is not 0530 or 1400; it is 5:30 in the morning (AKA zero-dark-thirty).

Words like deck, rack, and "PT" will get you weird looks; floor, bed, workout, get used to it.

"F*ck" cannot be used to replace whatever word you can't think of right now, try "um".
Grunting is not talking.

It's a phone, not a radio, conversations on a phone do not need an "over" or should end with a "out"

People will not know what you are talking about if you tell them you are coming from CTC Gagetown with the support weapons platoon or that you spent a deployment in theatre

2. Style:
Do not put creases in your jeans.

Do not put creases on the front of your dress shirts.

A horseshoe cut looks dumb, not motivating.

A high and tight looks really dumb as well.

So does a tapered, but not as bad.

A hat indoors does not make you a bad person, it makes you like the rest of the world.

You do not have to wear a belt ALL the time.

3. Women:
Air Force girls are easy, very easy, not all women are this easy and will probably punch you in the nuts if you treat them like Air Force girls.

Being divorced twice by the time you are 23 is not normal, neither are 6 month marriages, even if it is your first.

Marrying a girl so that you can move out of the barracks does not make "financial sense", it makes you a retard.

4. Personal Accomplishments:
In the real world, being able to do pushups will not make you good at your job.

Most people will be slightly disturbed by you if you tell them about people you have killed or seen die.

How much pain you can take is not a personal accomplishment.

The time you got really drunk and passed the sobriety test anyway is also not a personal accomplishment.

5. Drinking:
In the real world, being drunk before 5pm will get you an intervention, not a "good for you"

That time you drank a 26er of Jaegermeister and pissed in your closet is not a conversation starter.

That time you went to the combat medics course and practiced giving vodka iv's will also not be a good conversation starter...unless, of course, you are dating a medic or MO. Then it's called reminiscing.

6. Bodily Functions:
Farting on your co-workers and then giggling while you run away may be viewed as "unprofessional".

The size of the dump you took yesterday will not be funny no matter how big it was, how much it burned, or how much it smelled.

You can't make fun of someone for being sick, no matter how funny it is VD will also not be funny

7. The Human Body:
Most people will not want to hear about your balls. Odd as that may seem, it's true.

8. Spending Habits:
You will have to pay bills
Buying a $30,000 car on a $25,000 a year salary is a really bad idea.

Spending money on video games instead of on diapers makes you a fool.

You will need health insurance

9. Interacting with Civilians (AKA YOU):
Making fun of your neighbor to his face for being fat will not be normal.

10. Real Jobs:
They really can fire you.

On the flip side you really can quit.

Screaming at the people that work for you will not be normal, remember they really can quit too.

Taking naps at work will not be acceptable.

Remember 9-5 not 0630 to 1800 - so it is a good thing.

11.The Law:
Non-judicial punishment does not exist and will not save you from prison.

Your workplace, unlike your unit, can't save you and probably won't, in fact most likely you will be fired about 5 minutes after they find out you've been arrested

Even McDonalds does background checks, and "conviction" isn't going to help you get the job
Fighting is not a normal thing and will get you really arrested, not yelled at Monday morning before they ask you if you won.

12.General knowledge:
You can in fact really say what you think about the Prime Minister in public.

Pain is not weakness leaving the body, it's just pain.

They won't wear anything shiny that tells you they are more important than you are, be polite.

Read the contracts before you sign them, remember what happened the first time.

QW: Attacking Canada

The enemy must be beaten only to the point where he has no more desireand capability to fight, but a foreign nation must believe that attacking Canada, would be like sticking their finger into a buzz saw.

- Major General Chris Vokes, 1986

I am a Soldier

I was that which others did not want to be.

I went where others feared to go,

and did what others failed to do.

I asked nothing from those who gave nothing,

and reluctantly accepted the thought eternal loneliness..should I fail.

I have seen the Face of terror:

Felt the stinging cold of Fear:

and enjoyed the sweet taste of a moments love.

I have cried,

pained,

and hoped...but most of all.

I have lived times others would say were best forgotten.

At least someday I will be able to say that I was proud of what I was...

a soldier

Father's Day

Her hair was up in a pony tail,
her favourite dress tied with a bow.
Today was Daddy's Day at school,
and she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her,
that she probably should stay home.
Why the kids might not understand,
if she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid;
she knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates
of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried,
for her to face this day alone.
And that was why once again,
she tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school
eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees
a dad who never calls.
There were daddies along the wall in back,
for everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently,
anxious in their seats

One by one the teacher called
a student from the class.
To introduce their daddy,
as seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name,
every child turned to stare.
Each of them was searching,
a man who wasn't there.

'Where's her daddy at?'
She heard a boy call out.
'She probably doesn't have one,'
another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back,
she heard a daddy say,
'Looks like another deadbeat dad,
too busy to waste his day.'

The words did not offend her,
as she smiled up at her Mom.
And looked back at her teacher,
who told her to go on.
And with hands behind her back,
slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child,
came words incredibly unique.

'My Daddy couldn't be here,
because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be,
since this is such a special day.

And though you cannot meet him,
I wanted you to know.
All about my daddy,
and how much he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories
he taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses,
and taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes,
and ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him.
I'm not standing here alone.

'Cause my daddy's al ways with me,
even though we are apart I know because he told me,
he'll forever be in my heart' With that,
her little hand reached up,
and lay across her chest. Feeling her own heartbeat,
beneath her favorite dress.
And from somewhere here in the crowd of dads,
her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter,
who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love
of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down,
staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft,
but its message clear and loud.

'I love my daddy very much,
he's my shining star.
And if he could, he'd be here,
but heaven's just too far.

You see he is a Canadian soldier
And died just this past year
When a roadside bomb hit his convoy and taught Canadians to fear.
But sometimes when I close my eyes,
it's like he never went away.' A
nd then she closed her eyes, and saw him there that day.

And to her mothers amazement,
she witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddies and children,
all starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them,
who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second,
they saw him at her side.

'I know you're with me Daddy,'
to the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers,
of those once filled with doubt.

Not one in that room could explain it,
for each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,
was a fragrant long-stemmed rose.

And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,
by the love of her shining star.
And given the gift of believing,
that heaven is never too far.

- unknown -

Breakfast In Kandahar

(to the tune of breakfast at tiffanys - Matchbox20)

All I want is some damn hot food
And I said, what about, some extra potatoes?

and she said f**k off, there arent any left!
So I said f**k you, I havnt eaten in 3 days!
And she said f**k off, next in line!

I see, Dont get me wrong I like KAF
with its high walls and great kitchen staff
Well,I guess I was wrong
So what the hell? Ive been in a FOB for a weekand its just warm food that I seek
Just give me some f**king turnip bitch!

And I said, what about, a little gravy?
and she said f**k off, there isnt any left!
So I said f**k you, I havnt eaten in 3 days!
And she said f**k off, next in line!

You'll say, I'd love some food that aint plastic
No mustard sauce or ham steak
And we're falling apart,
You'll say the cafeteria has come between us,
Our stavation is heinous!

Still I know you just don't care.
And I said, what about, some more potatoes ?
and she said f**k off, there isnt any left!
So I said f**k you, I havnt eaten in 3 days!!!
And she said f**k off, next in line!

And I said, what about, a little gravy ?
and she said f**k off, there isnt any left!
So I said f**k you, I can see it right there!!
And she said f**k off, next in line!

And I said, what about, a little more macaroni ?
and she said f**k off, there isnt any left!
So I said f**k you, I havnt eaten in 3 days!!!
Just give me some f**king turnip bitch!

Cpl. Michael Starker: Update & Guest Book

This is an excellent article about Sgt.

Michael Starker from one of his close friends.

What he did plus how he felt on that fateful day.

For those who knew him or are just interested in leaving condolences for Mike's family and friends you can leave then at the online guest book at the Calgary Herald.

Afghan mission is changing, new Canadian commander says

The next commander of Canadian troops in Afghanistan arrived in Kandahar on Wednesday, saying he believes the mission will take on a different flavour during his nine-month tour.

Brig.-Gen. Dennis Thompson is replacing current commander Brig.-Gen. Guy Laroche. The official handover will take place soon, although a date hasn't been specified.

Thompson said evolving conditions in the war-torn region mean there will be a greater emphasis on the civilian side of development and reconstruction.

Still, he said, there will still be a military aspect and he doesn't expect the army will be adopting a defensive posture just because the focus is shifting.

"I think there will be a change in emphasis, but I'm not prepared to say how much that will be [because] there are other players here," Thompson said, referring to the Taliban.

Canada's Conservative government is in the process of refocusing the mission and setting down objectives to be achieved before Canada's military mission ends in 2011.

Thompson will be laying the groundwork for refocusing the mission, and for a civilian administration at the provincial reconstruction base, which Canada operates in the city of Kandahar.

the Canadian Press - Wednesday, May 7, 2008

A FALLEN COMRADE

"Cpl. Michael Starker, a Calgarian, was a reservist with the Edmonton-based 15 Field Ambulance. He was killed in an ambush around 11:45 a.m. local time, 6 May 08, during a foot patrol in the Pashmul region of the Afghanistan's Zhari district"

(for the full story click on the image of Cpl Straker)

Our thoughts go out to his family and friends.

To coin a phrase of a patriotic Canadian,

"Heaven has only gotten safer."

Rest in peace Mike, from the Canadian Soldier & War Zone

FOR YOU MY FRIEND

A SILENT PRAYER

AS COMRADES DO AND SHED A TEAR

I'M HERE THIS DAY TO BID FAREWELL,

YET NOT ALONE A PROMISE HOLD

FOR A GREAT SOLDIER'S STORY BE TOLD

THE MAPLE LEAF FOR SERVE YOU HAVE

THIS POPPY PLACED FOR A YOUNG CHILD'S DAD

A PAL, A SOLDIER YOUR MISSION EARN

TO SHORT, BUT SACRED THE "COMRADE" TERM

GOD HAS CALLED OUR NATIONS BEST

YOUR DEED BE DONE "TORCH PASSED"

NOW REST FOR YOU MY FRIEND,

YOUR COUNTRY WEEPS

YOUR FAITHFUL DUTY COMRADES KEEP

by CPL LORNE GRACIE, 42

Your Family Might Be TOO Army IF:

Your wife’s two favourite shades of lipstick are green and light green

Before you hit the road on vacation you conduct rehearsals, backbriefs, and cover your convoy checklist.

Your kids call the yard their AOR (AREA OF RESPOSIBILITY)

You require your mechanic to replace the sandbags in your floorboard as a part of a tune-up

Your station wagon is equipped with blackout lights

Your kids call their mother “Domestic Niner”

Your kids use the “f” word at least five times in every sentence

Your doorbell sounds off with the current challenge and password

Your house has range cards posted by every window

You give the command “Fix Bayonets” at Thanksgiving Dinner

You make your daughter fill out a leave pass on Prom Night

Your kindergartner call recess “Smoke Break”

Your wife calls foreplay “prepping the objective”

Your wife conducts an AAR (AFTER ACTION REVIEW) after sex

Your wife “takes a knee” in the checkout line at Walmart

Your kids salute their grandparents

Your wife’s “high-n-tight” is more squared away than your CO’s

Your kids recite their ABCs phonetically

You divorced your wife and then you held a “Change of Command” ceremony

All your possessions are military issue

Your daughter’s first hair cut was a flattop

Your kids pull fire piquet

Your older kids call the youngest one “FNG” (F**KING NEW GUY)

Medals Finally Home!

Woman to honour father at ceremony - Florence Layton and her son Bert hold Mrs. Layton’s father’s wartime medals.

Every evening, as the sun sets in Ypres, Belgium, the long drawn-out notes of two bugles signal traffic to come to a stop at the Menin Gate Memorial. The Last Post honours the 55,000 Commonwealth soldiers killed in the First World War whose only grave is that of the Unknown Soldier.

For nearly 80 years, that sombre ceremony was one of the only tributes to Frank Forsdike, a corporal from the 4th Canadian Mounted Rifles killed in June 1916 at the Battle of Mount Sorrel in Belgium.

But next Saturday, thanks to the timely connection of long-lost cousins from opposite sides of the Atlantic, a public ceremony will be held in Berwick to present the unclaimed service medals of Cpl. Forsdike to Florence Layton, his recently found 94-year-old daughter.

"This means so much to Mom," Bert Layton, Florence’s son, said from his Berwick home. "She says it’s been a real blessing that she can celebrate him in such a public way."

Florence was only two years old when her father was killed in action and her mother remarried shortly after the war.

She only found out when she was 18 that the man who raised her was not her biological father.
A typographical error in the name Forsdike on Florence’s birth certificate made tracking family history tough — something she and her three children tried unsuccessfully over the years.

Then last fall, while searching online for information about "the mystery name in the family tree," Mr. Layton came across a website dedicated to the 4th Canadian Mounted Rifles.

Incredibly, he found a reference to his mother and grandmother as well as a family photograph taken in 1915 — the only one known to exist. "I couldn’t believe my eyes," said Mr. Layton. "It was incredibly exciting."

Three days later, he sent an e-mail to the website manager with the subject line: distant cousin.
When Ian Forsdike, sitting at his computer in Bedford, England, received the e-mail, he almost fell out of his chair.

"When I started reading, I became quite emotional," Mr. Forsdike said. "It was the end of 12 years of searching."

Mr. Forsdike created the website three years ago to learn more about his great-grandfather’s brother, whose military service had intrigued him ever since he read his ancestor’s name engraved on the Menin Gate Memorial.

"It was a personal loss in that moment," said Mr. Forsdike. "I have no explanation as to why that happened."

In his search, he found other Forsdikes in Canada and England, but he was most interested in Frank’s family.

Until that auspicious day last November, his search had proved fruitless. And when Mr. Forsdike discovered Florence was still alive, he said he couldn’t believe it. He travelled to Nova Scotia to meet his new-found family over the holidays and they applied to collect Frank’s medals from Veterans Affairs.

"Medals should not sit in a vault and not see the light of day," he said.
On May 10, almost 92 years after Frank Forsdike was killed on the front lines of Belgium, sunlight will shine on his medals.

The Royal Canadian Legion in Berwick will hold a formal ceremony, where Cpl. Forsdike’s medals will be officially presented to his daughter.

Ian Forsdike, who is speaking at the event, said the most important thing is that Florence gets to honour her father.

"It is so important that Frank’s sacrifice be remembered," said Mr. Forsdike. "And this can bring closure for Florence, who never knew her father."

by Mark Iype

Chronicle Herald

4 May 08

Just call this town Big Red

Bridgewater wants to host giant rally to support troops

David Mitchell, a Bridgewater town councillor, is hoping to be immersed in a sea of red shirts on May 23 when his town hosts a Red Rally in support of Canadian Forces members.

BRIDGEWATER — David Mitchell is hoping that his town will be the talk of the country on May 23, when people don their red shirts to host what could be the biggest Red Rally that Canada has ever seen.

"My goal is for this to be the top news story coast to coast that day," the town councillor said Saturday of the event in support of Canadian Forces members serving in Afghanistan and elsewhere.

"It would be really nice to broadcast some good news here by showing how much support the troops have for what they are doing, instead of just broadcasting funerals."
The inspiration for the event, which Jeff Hutcheson of CTV News will host at the South Shore Exhibition Grounds, came last May, when Mr. Mitchell and Mayor Carroll Publicover heard Rick Hillier speak at a conference.

Mr. Mitchell said they were both so moved by what the outgoing chief of defence staff said that they decided to invite him to Bridgewater.
"It elevated this event so much to have him come because his message is something you don’t forget, and I’m so glad to be able to share that," he said. "We want this to be the biggest rally in support of the troops, but we are also hoping that it will be different from the others that have been held, too."

Mr. Mitchell said planning is underway but they already have 1,000 people confirmed for the parade, which will include a colour party of 120. The local Royal Canadian Legion is involved as well.

Members decided this weekend they would break tradition for that one day and step aside to allow uniformed soldiers to lead them in the parade.
Prime Minister Steven Harper is not able to attend, due to a prior commitment, but Mr. Mitchell said Defence Minister Peter MacKay will be there, along with MPs from across the country.
The organizing committee has also received numerous letters of support, including one from Wayne Gretzky and another from Prince Harry’s office.

By RENEE STEVENS

The Chronicle Herald, NS

Tue. Apr 29 - 5:38 AM

Rick Hillier: the Man, the Myth, the Legend

In light of recent news about CDS, Gen. Rick (the Big Cod) Hillier stepping down we thought that re-posting this humourous list of his "charateristics" was in order.

For Canadian soldiers to be effective and feared by their enemies, they must follow the example set by Chief of Defence Staff General Rick Hillier. The following is a list of some key points about Gen Hillier, which should be considered if others want to follow in his footsteps:

Rick Hillier does not sleep. He waits.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Rick Hillier.

Jawbreakers were originally in the shape of Rick Hillier's fist.

Rick Hillier's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

(the standard throat-punch-look, notice the partial mouth open, an obvious indication of what will transpire next)

Rick Hillier does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Rick Hillier goes killing!

(Gen Hillier demonstrating the 'over-the-shoulder-throat-punch look' with the standard pause of '2-3')

Ghosts are actually caused by Rick Hillier killing people faster than Death can process them.

Rick Hillier frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

Rick Hillier puts the "laughter" back into "manslaughter".

(Rick having a few laughs demonstrating his pattened finishing move)

The chief export of Rick Hillier is pain.

Rick Hillier can slam revolving doors.

If you can see Rick Hillier, he can see you. If you can't see Rick Hillier, you may be only seconds away from death.

"Your next f**ker"

Rick Hillier counted to infinity - twice!

When Rick Hillier exercises, the machine gets stronger.

When Rick Hillier sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Rick Hillier has not had to pay taxes ever.

(Gen Hillier demonstrating the style of choke hold he would us IF he had to pay taxes)

Rick Hillier owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite his holding just a joker, a get-out-of-jail-free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades, and a green #4 card from the game Uno. (seen below)

If you see Rick Hillier crying he will grant you a wish. If your wish is dying.

Rick Hillier was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Rick Hillier crossed the road. Nobody has ever dared question his motives.

(Rick discribes how he can immobilize a man with just a key)

They say that lightning never strikes twice. Neither does Rick Hillier. He doesn't have to.

Rick Hillier is allowed to speak of Fight Club.

Rick Hillier sleeps with a night light. Not because Rick Hillier is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Rick Hillier.

Rick Hillier died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

Rick Hillier has only one hand: the upper hand. (see above)

Water boils faster when Rick Hillier watches it.

The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Rick Hillier.

Rick Hillier doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. (seen below)

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rick Hillier can kill 100 percent of whatever the hell he wants.

If Rick Hillier is late, time better slow down.

Rick Hillier can divide by zero.

Rick Hillier can speak Braille.

Rick Hillier refers to himself in the fourth person.

One time in an airport a guy accidentally called Rick Hillier "Dick
Hillier." He explained it was an honest mistake an apologized profusely.
Rick accepted his apology and politely signed an autograph. Nine months
later, the guy's wife gave birth to a baby wearing combat fatigues. The
guy knew exactly what had happened, and blames nobody but himself.

A blind man once stepped on Rick Hillier's shoe. Rick Hillier replied,
"Don't you know who I am? I'm Rick Hillier!" The mere mention of his
name cured the man's blindness. Sadly, the first, last, and only thing
this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Rick Hillier.

Similar to a Russian Nesting Doll, if you were to break Rick Hillier open,
you would find another Rick Hillier inside, only smaller and angrier.

Rick Hillier's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd.
Nobody fools Rick Hillier.

At birth, Rick Hillier came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the
doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Rick Hillier but Rick Hillier.

Superman owns a pair of Rick Hillier pajamas.

(make no mistake the microphone isn't powered by the 'Energizer Bunny' or the 'Copper Top', it isn't even plugged in, ifs powered by 'Rick-Power' which, by the way had the Energiezer Bunny for lunch!)

Soldier at the Gates

The soldier stood and faced his God

Which must always come to pass

He hoped his shoes were shining

Just as brightly as his brass.

"Step forward now you soldier,

How shall I deal with you?

Have you always turned the other cheek,

And to my church have you been true?"

The soldier squared his shoulders and said,

"No Lord, I guess I ain't,

Because those of us who carry guns,

Can't always be saints."

"I've had to work most Sundays

And at times my talk was tough,

And sometimes I've been violent

Because the streets were awfully rough"

"But I never took a penny,That wasn’t mine to keep

Though I worked a lot of overtime

When the bills just got to steep"

"And I never passed a cry for help

Although, at times I shook with fear

And sometimes, God forgive

I've wept unmanly tears"

"I know I don't deserve a place Among the people here

That never wanted me around

Except to calm there fears

If you have a place for me here O' Lord

It needn't be so grand

I've never expected, or had so much

But if you don't I'll understand"

There was a silence all around the throne

Where the Saints had often trod

As this soldier waited quietly

For the judgment from his God

"Step forward now you soldier,

You've borne your burdens well

Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,

You've done your time in Hell"

To all that have served;

SSG. P. T. Pack

The Soldier, God & the College Professor

A young Canadian soldier was attending some college courses between assignments. He had also just completed a mission in Afghanistan.

One of the courses had a professor who was a vowed atheist. One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, 'God, if you are real, then I want you to knockme off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes.'

The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop.

Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, 'Here I am God. I'm still waiting.'

It got down to the last couple of minutes when the young soldier got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The young man went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence.

The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the soldier and asked, 'What the hell is the matter with! YOU? Why did you do that?'

Came the reply, 'God was too busy today protecting our soldiers who are protecting your right to talk stupid and act like an idiot. So......He sent me.'

Soldier, It's Time to Talk

With the looming resignation of the media-aware Gen. Rick Hillier, one wonders if his successor will stand up to politicians with his verve. Not since the Second World War have so many journalists been attached toour military in the field. Embedded in Kandahar, media types eagerlyrelay contradictory assessments to the oft-confused Canadian public. (Inmy view, the most reliable is former Sun writer Matthew Fisher, now withthe National Post).

Media over-coverage has become something of a problem. The support our military gets today is remarkable. The government would like to harness the unexpected popularity of soldiers, but at the sametime cut any risk for embarrassment.

So it micro-manages -- fatal, when done to the military. Prime Minister Stephen Harper realizes that public support for soldiers doesn't necessarily mean approval of the war in Afghanistan. Increasingly, the PMO sticks its bureaucratic nose into how the army should deal with the media. Anything the least controversial seems to have to be okayed before being released.

Journalists with the army have to sign a bunch of documents vowing they'll conform to regulations and not break security rules that may endanger operations.

Fair enough. This is pretty standard. But in the quest for effective public relations, DND (and the PMO)doesn't seem to realize that the most effective public relations instruments are the regiments, and soldiers themselves.

By trying to screen the positive from the negative, and publicizing the heroic while curtailing the embarrassing, all that's achieved is mistrust and suspicion among the media.

Not all embedded journalists are equally trust worthy or competent. Just as rank and file soldiers are quick to size up officers and NCOs, so they size up reporters. Phonies and blowhards are hard to disguise. In accrediting journalists, DND Public Affairs errs if it treats all requests equally. Pick and choose, based on an individual's or media outlet's past record. For example, if it were me, I'd give a jaundicedhello to any CBC-TV applicant -- judging from the CBC's long and sorry record of covering Canadian troops on foreign missions.

Coverage of Canada's role in Afghanistan has been extensive -- and of so-so quality. Compared to coverage of casualties incurred during UNpeacekeeping, coverage of casualties in Afghanistan has been massive. We hear lots about the 82 Canadians killed, but little about casualties inflicted on the enemy. There's weak first-hand reporting of our tanks, in action for the first time since Korea. Afghanistan is littered with hulks of Soviet tanks, which were vulnerable -- do our tanks farebetter? Why?

We don't get much news on reconstruction work -- especially anything involving CIDA, which the Manley report indicated was inadequate tolousy. This view is echoed by soldiers with appropriate expletives deleted.

In one of his reports, Fisher notes our secret commandos, JTF-2, are never publicized -- except once, when U.S. Gen. Dan McNeil praised them for "some mighty fine work against insurgent bombers last year."

JFT-2 BLACKOUT

The general was puzzled at the media blackout of JTF-2. Me too. Butthat's a condition of being embedded. Having a secret army within the army is neither democratic nor traditional in our military. But the government gets away with it.

We don't know what JTF-2 is up to, and we should, since it (like oursnipers) seems especially effective -- at least according to our allies, if not to our journalists on the ground.

Harper has committed Canada to stay in Afghanistan until 2011. If the story is worth telling, let it be told in all its versions. Government should trust its soldiers, the same way Canadians trust our soldiers more than they trust our politicians.

PUBLICATION: The Ottawa Sun

DATE: 2008.04.21

SOURCE: BY PETER WORTHINGTON

Canadian Military Suicied Rate Doubled in a Year

Canada's military suicide rate doubled in a year, documents show

Last Updated: Saturday, April 19, 2008 5:54 PM ET

CommentsRecommend CBC News



BY AMBER HILDEBRANDT — The suicide rate among Canada's soldiers doubled from 2006 to 2007, rising to a rate triple that of the general population, according to data obtained through access to information requests.
Last year, the number of suicides among regular and reserve members of the Canadian Forces rose to 36, the highest in more than a decade, military police records obtained by Maj. Michel Sartori show.


Sartori, a Laval University doctoral student, has been gathering information about military suicides for years. It's the subject of his thesis and a topic close to his heart, since five of his colleagues killed themselves after a tour of duty in Yugoslavia in 1994.


He believes the rise is linked to the intensification of Canada's mission in Afghanistan when soldiers moved into the volatile southern region in 2006.


Sartori has been gathering information about military suicides since 1994. Based on the military police reports, he found that the average suicide rate among Canadian Forces military members, both regular and reserve, between 1994 and 2007 was 16 per year.


Year Suicides Regular force & reserves Rate per 100,000 2003 14 86,937 16.1 2004 17 90,772 18.7 2005 17 91,285 18.6 2006 20 96,318 20.7 2007 36 87,000 41.4



But the number of suicides among members of the military rose to 20 in 2006 and then jumped even higher to 36 in 2007, or a rate of 41.4 suicides per 100,000 soldiers. That's double the rate in the previous year.


Sartori says he was alarmed when he received the latest numbers. "It was a shock, total shock," said Sartori. "I almost fell out my chair." Starting in 2006, Sartori also noticed an abrupt change in the terms the military reports used to describe suicide in documents. The 36 suicides in 2007 were listed as sudden deaths, with 12 clearly marked suicide and 21 cases listed as "investigated." National Defence officials did not dispute that the document is a suicide list, but did not respond to requests from CBC to explain the new categories.


The 2007 numbers put the military suicide rate at triple that of the general Canadian public. Over the past two decades Canada's overall rate has ranged from 11.6 to 14 suicides per 100,000, though recent numbers are not available.


Dr. Greg Passey, a former military psychiatrist and head of a post-traumatic stress disorder clinic in Vancouver, says the spike in military suicides is "disturbing" but not surprising. He says he believes it's related to what he calls the "increased tempo" of the Afghanistan mission, which began in 2002.


"We're now a number of years into that mission and the frontline, the combat soldiers, and even the support staff are having to do multiple tours," he said.


The psychological stress of those missions is cumulative, he said, and Sartori's discovery may be the wake-up call the military needs to deal with the issue.


Veterans Affairs says that the number of vets experiencing some kind of operational stress injury, such as PTSD, has tripled in the past five years, and they expect it to continue rising with



Canada's mission in Afghanistan likely to last until 2011.
Roughly 2,500 Canadian soldiers are serving in and around Afghanistan's Kandahar region, where they are battling Taliban insurgents.


With files from Amanda Pfeffer http://origin.www.cbc.ca/canada/story/2008/04/18/suicide-rates.html

April 17, 1945: Canadian army repels desperate Germans - CBC Digital Archives

April 17: Canadian army repels desperate Germans

Broadcast Date: April 17, 1945April 17, 1945: OTTERLO, Netherlands — "Victory is in the air," says CBC war correspondent Matthew Halton. The war is winding down. But even as Canadian forces continue their sweep through enemy-occupied Holland, the Germans aren't giving up without a fight. In a bid to get back into western Holland, 1,000 German soldiers launch an attack at Otterlo, tossing grenades and firing on the Canadians. Reuters war reporter Charles Lynch tells the story for CBC.

Canadian gunners fire back at the Germans before digging slit trenches and using Sten submachine-guns, rifles and pistols to repel the attackers. But once the Germans get past the gun lines there's only one way to stop them. The Canadians roll four flamethrowers into position, sending flames into advancing columns of Germans. When it's all over Canadian casualties are light, but 400 Germans have been killed and 250 taken prisoner.

To hear these news reports at the digital archives of the CBC look here

Keep Your Head Down, Your in Kandahar!

Matt Minglewood's Kandahar

a classic already By David Frank For the Daily Gleaner

On a late afternoon at the Harvest Jazz and Blues Festival in Fredericton last weekend, the veteran Cape Breton blues and rock musician Matt Minglewood brought the crowd to its feet more than once. He did it predictably enough with a soulful rendition of Rita MacNeil's well-known Workingman, which he introduced as the blues for the Cape Breton coal miner.

But before that, he also brought people to their feet with a searing new song that has the makings of an equally powerful anthem for the working Canadian soldier on the ground in Kandahar .The 60-year-old Minglewood, with more than a dozen albums behind him and a load of honours to boot, introduced the new song cautiously, as a tribute he wrote as a result of his experience playing for Canadian troops in a similar big tent in Afghanistan .

As he tore through the song in trademark style, tough and wild but never out of control, there were shouts of recognition from the audience. In the song there was respect and there was humour, and in the refrain there was also an undercurrent of ambivalence that acknowledged the dirt and dust and danger of the soldiers' mission: "Keep your head down, You're in Kandahar ."

He did not have to spell out much more in a community where hundreds of families have been directly affected by the deployment and a region that has absorbed more than a fair share of the death and injury.Yet, this was not a song for or against the Afghanistan mission. In the context of his performance, as was the case for Rita MacNeil's classic, it was a song of solidarity for the work force in a hazardous occupation where workers have little or no say over the purposes or conditions of their work.


In his own way, Minglewood has, over the years, been a kind of folk performer for his far-flung generation of Maritimers and their children, who have been as likely to be found in the Canadian Forces as in the oil sands of Alberta . As in the old folk tradition, his appeal has always drawn on his ability to share identity and experience between performer and audience.


For a few minutes in that tent in a parking lot behind city hall, Minglewood's performance was one of the unexpected highlights of the annual music festival in downtown Fredericton . In front of an audience that was moved to tears as well as cheers, Minglewood was keeping the tradition alive.


The song is unreleased, but the first verses of Kandahar (Keep Your Head Down) can be heard at the Minglewood website, http://www.mattminglewood.com/

Canadian Forces Tours - Matt & band in December along with country artist Carolyn Dawn Johnson, Ginette Genereux, Jennifer Roland, and comedian Pete Zedlacher had the pleasure of performing for our military on another Canadian Forces Tour, this time of Goose Bay and Alert. Then Matt in March, along with George Canyon, fiddler Alexis MacIsaac, Ginette Genereux and comedian Pete Zedlacher entertained the crew of HMCS Charlottetown in Abu Dhabi, in the United Arab Emirates.

(http://www.navy.forces.gc.ca/charlottetown/gallery/ship_gallery_e.asp?category=442)

In May he embarks on another jaunt this time of the Persian Gulf and Afghanistan. Performing for the troops is one of the most rewarding gigs he has done. Matt, Grant & Moon want to say thanks to all, especially the soldiers, and feel honored to have the opportunity to perform & help bring a slice of home to them.

For more information contact MattMinglewood.com.

or e-mail at minglenews@mattminglewood.com

The Captain & Horse Riding

An Armour Corps Captain narrowly escaped serious injury recently when he decided to try horseback riding, even though he had no lessons or prior experience. He mounted the horse, and the horse immediately sprang into action.

As it galloped along at a steady and rhythmic pace, the Captain began to slip from the saddle. He grabbed for the horse's mane, but could not get a firm grip. He tried to throw his arms around the horse's neck, but he began to slide down the side of the horse anyway! The horse galloped along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.

Finally, losing his frail grip, the Captain attempted to leap away from the horse and throw himself to safety. Unfortunately, his foot became entangled in the stirrup, and he was now at the mercy of the horse as his head struck against the ground over and over and over.

As his head was being battered against the ground and he was mere moments away from unconsciousness, to his great fortune, a Sergeant from an Infantry Battalion, who was shopping at Wal-Mart, saw him and quickly unplugged the horse.

Sex vs Work and the Sergeant Major

At a command picnic, a bunch of officers were standing around talking. A Lieutenant said, "I think that making love is 80% fun and 20% work."

A Major responded by saying, "No, I think that making love is more work than that. I would say that it is 60% fun and 40% work."

Then a Colonel said, "No, making love is definitely way more work than that. I would say that it's more like 20% fun and 80% work."

They continued to discuss the matter for several minutes until a Sergeant-Major walked by. The officers called him over to ask his opinion.

The Colonel said, "Sgt-Maj, we're having a discussion, and we'd like your input. The Lieutenant says that making love is 80% fun and 20% work. The Major thinks that making love is 60% fun and 40% work. I say that making love is 20% fun and 80% work. What's your opinion?"

The Sgt-Maj scratched his chin and said, "Sir, I think you're all wrong. Making love must be 100% fun, because if there was any work involved, you'd have one of the troops doing it for you!"

Military Rules of Conduct for Civilians

You've heard about the many MILITARY RULES of conduct;

Now we have some EASY TO FOLLOW CIVILIAN RULES as well:

We know that the current state of affairs in Canada have many civilians up in arms politically and rightfully concerned about our troops. For those of you who can't join the military at this time, you can still lend a hand here at home. The following are a few of the areas where your assistance would be appreciated:

(1) The next time you see an adult talking, (or wearing a hat), during the playing of the National Anthem - - - kick their ass.

(2) When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the flag or bad-mouthing our troops in protest - - - kick their ass.

(3) Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every day. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these veterans made to make Canada great. Then hold them down while a disabled veteran kicks their ass.

(4) (GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. Wearing camouflage combats and telling others that you used to be "Special Forces," and collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have been okay when you were seven years old. Now, it will only make you look stupid and get your ass kicked.

(5) Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them, "Do you fly a jet?" Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance deserves an ass-kicking (children are exempt).

(6) If you witness someone calling the Canadian Coast Guard 'non-military,' inform them of their mistake - - - and kick their ass.

(7) Next time the Canadian flag goes by during a parade, get on your damn feet and pay homage. Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying her. Of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a severe ass-kicking.

(8) Don't try to discuss politics with a military member or a veteran. We are all Canadian, (well, hopefully most), and we all bleed the same, regardless of our party affiliation. Our Chain of Command is to include our Commander. The Prime Minister, (for those who didn't know), is our Commander regardless of political party. We have no inside track on what happens inside those big important buildings where all those MPs meet. All we know is that when those civilian> representatives screw up the situation, they call upon the military to go straighten it out and some of them die. If you keep asking the same stupid questions repeatedly, you should get your ass kicked.

(9) 'Your mama wears army boots' never made sense to me, so stop saying it. If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore could kick YOUR ass!!!

(10) Bin Laden and the Taliban are not Communists, so stop saying, 'Let's go kill those Commies'. And stop asking returning soldiers where HE is!!! Crystal balls are not standard issue in the military. That reminds me - - if you see anyone calling those damn psychic phone numbers, let me know, so I can go kick their ass.

(11) 'flyboy' (Air Force), 'grunt' (Army), 'harry bag' (Navy) etc., are terms of endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a service member or vet, you have not earned the right to use them. That could get your ass kicked.

(12) Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of the military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please remember that there are literally thousands of troops far from home wishing they could be with their families. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make every day. Without them, our country would get its ass kicked.

It is the soldier, not the reporter,

who has given us the freedom of the press.

It is the soldier, not the poet,

who has given us the freedom of speech.

It is the soldier, not the campus organizer,

who gives us the freedom to demonstrate.

It is the soldier who salutes the flag,

who serves beneath the flag,

and whose coffin is draped by the flag,

who has given the protester the right to burn the flag.

A CHANGE IN APPROACH

It has taken some time to get this blog up an running due to other various commitments and achieveing a proper schedule may take some time still. Especially, in comparison to the stiff competition that is already present in the bogging community such as the Torch (#1 Military Blog of 2007), and the Military Mom at Home (#2) both very excellent and informative sites with two great perspectives. A revision of this site's approach is in order.

After reviewing these other sites we believe that if we follow suit it would only be echoing what they have already said so eloquently and worked so hard to achieve. Therefore, here we intend to pursue a some what different approach. Certain items will still be posted that are believed important enough to be posted again but the majority of the focus here will be on stories and other various literary pieces, experiences, and even a joke or two from time to time.

Any suggestions will be greatly welcome

Daniel Adams Butterfield - Composer of Taps

I had previously recieved a story about the bugle call "Taps", which I posted and have now discovered to be incorrect. I have recently removed it on the advice of a reader. The real story - according to Wikipedia - is quoted below. For more of the story go to - ttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel_Butterfield

"While the Union Army recuperated at Harrison's Landing, Virginia, from its Seven Days of retreating, Butterfield experimented with bugle calls and is credited with the composition of Taps, probably the most famous bugle call ever written. He wrote Taps to replace the customary firing of three rifle volleys at the end of burials during battle. Taps also replaced Tattoo, the French bugle call to signal "lights out". Butterfield's bugler, Oliver W. Norton of the 83rd Pennsylvania Volunteers was the first to sound the new call. Within months, Taps was sounded by buglers in both the Union and Confederate armies."

Thanks from War Zone to the reader who discovered the true story behind the bugle call.