Your wife’s two favourite shades of lipstick are green and light green
Before you hit the road on vacation you conduct rehearsals, backbriefs, and cover your convoy checklist.
Your kids call the yard their AOR (AREA OF RESPOSIBILITY)
You require your mechanic to replace the sandbags in your floorboard as a part of a tune-up
Your station wagon is equipped with blackout lights
Your kids call their mother “Domestic Niner”
Your kids use the “f” word at least five times in every sentence
Your doorbell sounds off with the current challenge and password
Your house has range cards posted by every window
You give the command “Fix Bayonets” at Thanksgiving Dinner
You make your daughter fill out a leave pass on Prom Night
Your kindergartner call recess “Smoke Break”
Your wife calls foreplay “prepping the objective”
Your wife conducts an AAR (AFTER ACTION REVIEW) after sex
Your wife “takes a knee” in the checkout line at Walmart
Your kids salute their grandparents
Your wife’s “high-n-tight” is more squared away than your CO’s
Your kids recite their ABCs phonetically
You divorced your wife and then you held a “Change of Command” ceremony
All your possessions are military issue
Your daughter’s first hair cut was a flattop
Your kids pull fire piquet
Your older kids call the youngest one “FNG” (F**KING NEW GUY)
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