FLYING TANKS

PRACTICAL JOKE

SUCCESS

A PRAYER FOR CANADA

O Lord God of hosts,

it is your holy will that all nations of the earth dwell in peace.

We give you thanks for your favour and goodness toward Canada,

and for upholding us with your mercy from on generation to antoher.

Continue, we pray, your loving kindness towards us, that, united, free,

and mindful of our stewardship,

may we through your grace so fulfil your purpose,

that our country may be a witness to the nations of the earth,

to the advancement of your glory and the good of all mankind.

In your Holy Name we pray and give thanks.

Amen

THE DEAD RETURN

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"War would end in the dead could return."

- Stanley Baldwin

DIPLOMACY

YOUR FAMILY MIGHT BE TOO ARMY IF:

Your wife’s two favourite shades of lipstick are green and light green .

Before you hit the road on vacation you conduct rehearsals, backbriefs, and cover your convoy checklist.

Your kids call the yard their AOR (AREA OF RESPOSIBILITY)

You require your mechanic to replace the sandbags in your floorboard as a part of a tune-up

Your station wagon is equipped with blackout lights

Your kids call their mother “Domestic Niner”

Your kids use the “f” word at least five times in every sentence

Your doorbell sounds off with the current challenge and password

Your house has range cards posted by every window

You give the command “Fix Bayonets” at Thanksgiving Dinner

You make your daughter fill out a leave pass on Prom Night

Your kindergartner call recess “Smoke Break”

Your wife calls foreplay “prepping the objective”

Your wife conducts an AAR (AFTER ACTION REVIEW) after sex

Your wife “takes a knee” in the checkout line at Walmart

Your kids salute their grandparents

Your wife’s “high-n-tight” is more squared away than your CO’s

Your kids recite their ABCs phonetically

You divorced your wife and then you held a “Change of Command” ceremony

All your possessions are military issue

Your daughter’s first hair cut was a flattop

Your kids pull fire piquet

Your older kids call the youngest one “FNG” (F**KING NEW GUY)

A PRAYER FOR THE CANADIAN FORCES

Eternal God,

stretch forth, we pray,

your mighty arm to strengthen and protect the men and women of the Canadian Forces

in every peril of sea, and land, and air;

shelter them in the day of battle, and ever keep them safe from all evil;

endue them with loyalty and courage; and grant that in all things we may serve the good, the noble, and the just.

Amen

A TRINITY

"War is...a trinity of violence, chance, and reason."

- Clausewitz

The Unknown Future: a Sad Day for the Canadian Forces

What does the future hold for the CF now that Canada’s Number One soldier is retiring? His departure reminds me of an exercise many, many years ago.

It was early, zero dark buffalo, and we had been bugged out to start off a brigade exercise. I was engrossed in packing up our platoon’s stores vehicle when I heard a voice ask how I was doing. When I looked up I saw the brigade commander quickly walking along the column of vehicles towards me. It was Hillier. He stopped for only a moment, which at the time I thought was going to involve a huge interrogation of skill testing questions about military technical data such as the muzzle velocity of the service rifle or that I was going to be reprimanded for having one of my pockets were undone. To my amazement he only wanted to know if everything was alright and if there were any problems so far into the Ex.

Still in some shock, because of his genuine concern for my well being and my views of events so far, I ran through the encounter in my head. I realized that that no other person at that level had done such a thing so far in my career. It also occurred to me that there wasn’t huge entourage of lackeys parading around with him, he was alone. Alone checking up on his troops and at the same time showing us that he was actually there going out on exercise with us.

It wasn’t a significant event in my career but one that does stand out in my memory. The fact that a person of his position made that extra effort - which he would not consider extra but necessary - to make an unscheduled and covert visit amongst his troops.

More recently, while serving in Afghanistan, he made several visits to a location where I had been deployed. His visits were almost always short and sweet. On most occasions he would only mingle about the camp greeting and speaking with the troops. Only once did he have a parade where he spoke to the majority of the camp and this was briefest brief in the history of the CF.

Now, upon his leaving it makes me wonder what the future holds for the CF. Who can fill the boots of a man who has inspired so many soldiers to excel? Who has led by example and who has show genuine concern and overwhelming support for his troops?

Believing the ‘glass is half empty’, the future quality of life in the CF will not be as good as is has been with Hillier at the helm.

- Author Unknown -

PRAYER FOR THE FAMILY(S)

Gracious God,

grant to the family(s) a sure confidence in your loving care,

that sharing their sorrow with you,

they may know the consolation of your love.

Grant them courage and strength to meet the days ahead

in the comfort of a holy and certain hope,

and in the joyful expectation of eternal life with their love one.

Amen

WAR SCIENCE

"War is the science of destruction."

- Abbott

the CF

An Australian Definition of a Canadian

You probably missed it in the local news, but there was a report that someone in Pakistan had advertised in a newspaper an offer of a reward to anyone who killed a Canadian - any Canadian.

An Australian dentist wrote the following editorial to help define what a Canadian is, so they would know one when they found one.

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"A Canadian can be English, or French, or Italian, Irish, German, Spanish, Polish, Russian or Greek. A Canadian can be Mexican, African, Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Australian, Iranian, Asian, Arab, Pakistani or Afghan. A Canadian may also be a Cree, Métis, Mohawk, Blackfoot, Sioux, or one of the many other tribes known as native Canadians.

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A Canadian's religious beliefs range from Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, Hindu or none. In fact, there are more Muslims in Canada than in Afghanistan. The key difference is that in Canada they are free to worship as each of them chooses. Whether they have a religion or no religion, each Canadian ultimately answers only to God, not to the government, or to armed thugs claiming to speak for the government and for God.

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A Canadian lives in one of the most prosperous lands in the history of the world. The root of that prosperity can be found in the Charter of Rights and Freedoms which recognize the right of each person to the pursuit of happiness.

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A Canadian is generous and Canadians have helped out just about every other nation in the world in their time of need, never asking a thing in return. Canadians welcome the best of everything, the best products, the best books, the best music, the best food, the best services and the best minds. But they also welcome the least - the oppressed, the outcast and the rejected. These are the people who built Canada.

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You can try to kill a Canadian if you must as other blood-thirsty tyrants in the world have tried but in doing so you could just be killing a relative or a neighbour. This is because Canadians are not a particular people from a particular place. They are the embodiment of the human spirit of freedom. Everyone who holds to that spirit, everywhere, can be a Canadian."

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- Written by an Australian Dentist

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Then pass it around again.
It says it all, for all of us 'Keep your stick on the ice'

A COMPARISON: CIVIE VS SOLDIER

Civie: Your alarm clock goes off , you hit the snooze and sleep for another 10 minutes.
Soldier: He stays up for days on end. __________________________________
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Civie: You take a warm shower to help you wake up.
Soldier: He goes days or weeks without running water. ________________________
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Civie: You complain of a "headache", and call in sick.
Soldier: He gets shot at as others are hit, and keeps moving forward._______________
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Civie: You put on your anti war/don't support the troops shirt, and go meet up with your friends.
Soldier: He still fights for your right to wear that shirt. ________________________
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Civie: You make sure you're cell phone is in your pocket.
Soldier: He clutches the cross hanging on his chain next to his dog tags.__________________
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Civie: You talk trash about your "buddies" that aren't with you.
Soldier: He knows he may not see some of his buddies again. ___________________
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Civie: You walk down the beach, staring at all the pretty girls/hot guys.
Soldier: He walks the streets, searching for insurgents and terrorists.______________
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Civie: You complain about how hot it is.
Soldier: He wears his heavy gear, not daring to take off his helmet to wipe his brow.____
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Civie: You go out to lunch, and complain because the restaurant got your order wrong.
Soldier: He doesn't get to eat today. _____________________________________
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Civie: Your maid makes your bed and washes your clothes.
Soldier: He wears the same things for weeks, but makes sure his weapons are clean.____
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Civie: You go to the mall and get your hair redone.
Soldier: He doesn't have time to brush his teeth today. ________________________
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Civie: You're angry because your class ran 5 minutes over.
Soldier: He's told he will be held over an extra 2 months. _______________________
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Civie: You call your girlfriend/boyfriend and set a date for tonight.
Soldier: He waits for the mail to see if there is a letter from home._________________
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Civie: You hug and kiss your girlfriend/boyfriend, like you do everyday.
Soldier: He holds his letter close and smells his love's perfume. ___________________
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Civie: You roll your eyes as a baby cries.
Soldier: He gets a letter with pictures of his new child, and wonders if they'll ever meet.__
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Civie: You criticize your government, and say that war never solves anything.
Soldier: He sees the innocent tortured and killed by their own people and remembers why he is fighting.
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Civie: You hear the jokes about the war, and make fun of men like him.
Soldier: He hears the gunfire, bombs and screams of the wounded. ________________
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Civie: You see only what the media wants you to see.
Soldier: He sees the broken bodies lying around him. __________________________
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Civie: You are asked to go to the store by your parents. You don't.
Soldier: He does exactly what he is told.____________________________________
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Civie: You stay at home and watch TV.
Soldier: He takes whatever time he is given to call, write home, sleep, and eat._________
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Civie: You crawl into your soft bed, with down pillows, and get comfortable.
Soldier: He crawls under a tank for shade and a 5 minute nap,only to be woken by gunfire.
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You sit there and judge him, saying the world is probably a worse place because of men like him. *
If only there were more men like him! _________________________________

A Soldier's Prayer

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Almighty God,

Help me remain true to my ideals

During my service to my country.

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Help me to be what is best in Canada,

A vast and wonderful land.

May I realize that I represent

What our country stands for.

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My uniform is a symbol of duty and

Valour both in peace and in war.

I take up arms to defend what all

Canadians hold dear: life, dignity, and respect.

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Grant me the strength to live

According to the courage of my

Convictions and the resolve to

Endure whatever dangers threaten.

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With you at my side I fear no evil.

I Resist every enemy secure in the

Knowledge that you hold me safe in the

Palm of your hand.

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Amen

WAR'S A BORE

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"War is an organized bore."

I guess he never saw THIS coming at him...

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- Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

Definition: VETERAN

When a good Veteran leaves the 'job' and retires to a better life, many are jealous, some are pleased, and others, who may have already retired, wonder if he knows what he is leaving behind, because we already know.
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1. We know, for example, that after a lifetime of camaraderie that fewexperience, it will remain as a longing for those past times.
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2. We know in the Military life there is a fellowship which lasts longafter the uniforms are hung up in the back of the closet.
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3. We know even if he throws them away, they will be on him with everystep and breath that remains in his life. We also know how the verybearing of the man speaks of what he was and in his heart still is.
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These are the burdens of the job. You will still look at people suspiciously, still see what others do not see or choose to ignore and always will look at the rest of the Military world with a respect for what they do; only grown in a lifetime of knowing. Never think for one moment you are escaping from that life. You areonly escaping the 'job' and merely being allowed to leave 'active'
duty.
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So what I wish for you is that whenever you ease into retirement, in your heart you never forget for one moment that you are still a member of the greatest fraternity the world has ever known.

BARBIE FOR MEN

...the BAD.....

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"Don't try to be a good man, just be a man,

and let history decide"

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- Zefram Cochran